For the full set of season reports, click here

End of Year Awards
Season 2010–11

Major Trophies

Season Awards

. . . . . and finally, and most humbly, the webmistress was totally overwhelmed when presented with the "Pulitzer Prize" Award (an approved GBWGC product) for journalistic endeavour. Six smaller trophies represented efforts from 2006 to 2011.

Though extremely gratefully of the recognition for documenting the progress - and now the accumulating history - of the club, the award also recognises the calibre of Scobes the Scribe for his entertaining weekly summaries and to others whose contribution to the content of published "stuff" is greatly appreciated by yours truly and the membership.

Weekly reports: Season 2010–11

To fast track to the report for a particular fixture, just click on the fixture date below . . .

Monday, March 21, 2011
"Flags" Competition and Presentations
Hamersely

President Little pulled a novelty rabbit from his limitless hat to set up a different
preamble to the annual presentation of trophies – a "Flags" event. It didn't put too many off, with a field of eight setting out in morbid fascination. Suffice to say that playing such an event was somewhat torturous - each "missed" shot threatening
to end the round prematurely in what, for all who played, became
agonising as the allocated strokes petered out and the 18th green looking further and further away!

Results: Long Drive - Scobes; NTP - Scobes

The "Flags" game combined with breakfast.presentations was well received. The Flags concept looks like setting the scene for a similar event in 2012. Well done to Litts for the idea and the execution.

Monday, March 7, 2011
Handicapper's Trophy and Season Closer

A quality group of the last four standing gathered at Burswood for a subdued finish to the season but not necessarily an uneventful one. Two teams went head-to-head under Ambrose rules for the prestigious (Siamese Twin) Handicapper's Trophy helped by cool, clear conditions with little wind, if you don't count the hot air being thrown around on the first tee. Scientifically statistically independent and unbiased techniques were used to decided the teams (read coin tosses) and Tundra and Walks were up against Snout and YOTM. It was almost a no-contest given Macca's recent form.

At the turn, things were nip and tuck. Chris and Walks were just one stroke down with Macca continuing his great form, particularly skillful and deft touch round the greens backed up by Snout managing to knock out a few long drives. Walks was hammering some awesome drives/irons and Chris was steady as a rock. But a dark cloud had developed in clear skies above the 8th hole – Macca streeeeeeetched that dicky shoulder attempting a BIG drive and was clearly in trouble.

The Chris/Walker duo took no prisoners on the 10th, two lusty hits and their ball was at the back of the green to set up a great birdie. Macca's limited power and Snout's wayward blows snared a double bogey and it was going to prove difficult to upset Walks's missiles and Tundra's tenacity. No one really got the advantage over the remaining holes despite Macca's painful efforts getting to the green. The 10th hole proved to be the pivotal moment in the game and earned a great win to Jacko (his maiden Award win) and Walks (his second Handicappers Trophy win). YOTM and Snout at least managed a runner-up place.

Results:
Trophy Champions: Jacko and Walks
2nd: Macca/Snout
NAGA: Macca/Snout
NTPs: Walks (6th), Jacko (16th)
LDs: Dalbs (x 2)

Steve and Cherie's Big Day Out

It was a wedding described by our roving reporter as "One out of the box". Steve and Cherie wanted a party and what a party it was – relaxed, colourful and happy-go-lucky.

Marg, Steve, Ron (very relaxed), Cherie and Steve's sister Amanda

The ceremony took place under gum trees by the 1st hole of the Lakes course at Joodalup. A violinist set the mood and the local magpies joined in the

chorus. The minister was an old friend of Ronnie – Ron (yes, another one) Manly – who was flown in from Melbourne to officiate.

Guests then adjourned to the air-conditioned comfort of the marquee to join in on some hilarious speeches and to toast a handsome and happy couple.

CONGRATULATIONS
Steve and Cherie

Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Stableford - 14 Club

Highlights:

• Poor Ronnie A won the NAGA today after many a bad lie. He just wanted to cry.

  There was one fact which stood out above all others as the round unfolded. Though the YOTM had been a bit of a damp squib, it was clearly the dawn of the AOTM (Autumn of the Macca). He drove, chipped and putted with great purpose, starting par, birdie then had a bit of a flat spot before recording consecutive pars later in the round. On a handicap of 14, the points just tumbled onto his card;
• Ron waited until the last opportunity to par the 10th, filling up his eclectic with pars and birdies;
• Scobes was feeling the after effects of 4 days down south dealing with scorching heat and cold beer and stumbled to 3 points after 4 holes. Managed pick up as the round progressed and after 25-odd years of trying, finally parred the 18th;
• Pedro was thereabouts all day, with a couple of pars but nothing too far off the mark enabling him to finish with a sub-par (nett) round. He just pipped Macca's attempt at the LD by 112 metres;
• Walks decided that he had held back long enough to take advantage of his burgeoning handicap and only failed to take runner-up honours by faltering over the last 3 holes. Had 17 points from 6 holes up until then, including 4 pointers on the 11th and 15th;
• Dalbs parred the 10th and 12th before deciding that the comfort of an unprecedented 14 handicap should not be given up lightly. A quick couple of wipes put his mind at ease and he came home in regulation over the last 4 holes;
• Chris couldn't manage a par for the nine holes, which made his score card appear as though he had played a quite unremarkable round. A quick check with his playing partners confirmed this lack of remarkableness;
• Ron was the rock of consistency all season, however, it appears that the season is just 1 week too long, as he fell in a big hole today, though his ball refused join him. There was some conjecture that he may have just had too much of a good time on Steve's honeymoon!.

• Two players had 6 wins and 10 NAGAs between them - that's approximately 25% and 45% respectively;
• Average number of games played/player was 15.67 after removal of an outlier (Tom) and excluding Binningup games. This outlier applies to all the following analysis;
• Individual consistency points ranged from 3.75 to 2.0; equivalent to +1.25 and +3.0 strokes over par (nett) respectively;
• A record 18 balls were pilfered from the birdies nest, over 8 holes. Only 1 hole escaped being pillaged. It contains 7 balls in the new season;
• Only 1 player failed to snare both an NTP and a LD for the season;
• Most NAGAs and most LBs went to the same player. This is to be fully expected and provides strong vindication for the methodology used in GBWGC record keeping;
• A couple of people won the Apres putting nearly every week but, as this is not really anything to do with the traditional activities and culture of the club, it has not been deemed necessary to make any serious statistical comment;
• Two players reached the 200 game milestone in 2010-11, the first time that this had happened in the same season (or ever);
• A player living in the northern hemisphere played 13 games, a record for games played while domiciled in a hemisphere other than that where the Hamersley GC is located;
• Best adjusted eclectic was a full 2 strokes worse than in 2009-10. This is believed to be related to the aging of the player group (apparently);
• Best consistency score was 0.75 strokes better than for the previous season. This is almost certainly the result of players (one in particular) becoming very boring as they age;
• Birdies were scored at double the rate of last year. This makes no sense and probably some kind of weird statistical effect yet to be descibed, but which will be known in the meantime as the "Go Figure Effect";
• 55% of players accounted for 80% of the available Masters points;
• One player played just 1 game, came second on that day, got maximum consistency points and never came back. This is thought to be an example of the inability of many younger people to start something, then stick at it. 

Results:
Winner: Macca (24pts)
2nd: Pedro (19) on countback from . . .
3rd: Walks (19)
NTP: Robin
LD: Pedro
Little Bounce: Ron
NAGA: Ron
Apres Putting: Walks

Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Stableford - 3 Club

Highlights:

• Go figure

  A tight contest, with only 3 points between 1st and NAGA;
• A blistering start by Scobes - only 3 over the card after 6 holes. One point scored thereafter (choker..). Exceptional skill at placing his drive off the tee on the par 3 15th ======>;
• An abyssmal start by Dalbs - 4 point after 5 holes, but charged home to take the lollies;
• Macca brought his rescue club and both he and his club had to be rescued from wilderness situations on a number of occasions;
• Walks had it sown up but managed to wipe the last to place himself in a 3 way countback;
• Jacko refused to have a 1 on his card, preferring instead to wipe holes on which he did not score 2 or 3. Quite a novel approach;

• Driver's and 7 irons made better putters of the putters

  Pedro managed 6 bogeys, which would normally form the basis of a fair round. However the other 3 holes were not all that flash. There was a highlight for Pedro as he came in convinced that he had snared the NAGA. A broad smile, as only Pedro can produce, broke out on his face when he surveyed Macca's card;
• It's clearly the number of clubs that we carry determines the pace of play. When provided with very limited choice today, both groups zoomed around in near record time.

Post-match Tantrum. After finishing his round, and while waiting for the second group to play up to the 18th, Dalbs set about showing his fellow playing partners how well HE can chip after Macca put on a mixed display and Scobes just sat shaking his head. Needless to say, Snout didn't quite prove his point and took umbrage at the club which in turn failed to fall back out of the sky.

Results:
Winner: Robin (14pts) from . . . .
2nd: Walks (14)
3rd: Scobes (14). Countbacks all round. Contrary to the announcement after play, Walks was 2nd and Scobes 3rd.
NTP: Scobes
LD: Robin (has there ever been a better 3 wood shot?)
Little Bounce:Robin
NAGA: Macca (Walks was incorrectly reported to be the NAGA winner last week. Strong representations from Jacko has had the record amended to rightly confer that honour where it was due)
Apres Putting: Not contested. $4.20 jackpot!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Not much known about pre game shennanigans as your reporter was a late arrival. For his sins was put in the first group and teed of with an Iced Coffee in one hand a fag in the other and driver in a third while being harangued by Macca about the need to hand over $15. Most got away to a good start, which was definitely a false dawn, for the first group at least. Balls became invisible upon being struck and even those on the fairway (such as they were) proved difficult to spot - may have had something to do with the camouflage provided by the polar bear poo deposited on the fairways by a fleet of trucks which hindered early hostilities.

Highlights/Lowlights:

• One of the biggest came late in the round but has been reported on first due to its seriousness. Formal disciplinary action is pending following a viscious collision between Macca's buggy and a dustbin, the latter being entirely blameless (apparently);
• Walk's comparatively feeble club toss on the 18th tee (he needs lessons Robin) was noted but no formal action is deemed necessary;
• Pedro smashed a few and mashed a few. The outcome was a positive one for his handicap;
• Somebody chipped in on the 15th after calling it before taking the shot. He is too modest to want to be identified in this report (you bloody ripper!);
• Ron's stableford scores read like a Bell Curve (skinny at each end and fat in the middle). The king of the Normal distribution!;
• Litts had 3 pars and 2 wipes. Where has that old smooth (some would say "dainty") consistency gone?;
• Walks just couldn't get it going today. When he found the fairway, he couldn't find his ball. Similarly when he didn't find the fairway;
• Jacko proved that you can play just 2 good shot and still have a good day. Won balls for both NTP and LD;
• Scobes had a day where a more in control and calm player could have prospered (beaten on a countback and lost the Apres in a play off.

Results:
Winner: Macca (19pts) on countback (going all the way back to the 12th hole) from . . . .
2nd: Scobes (19)
3rd: Ron (17)
NTP: Jacko
LD: Jacko
Little Bounce: Walks
NAGA: Jacko
Apres Putting: Walks (at the 2nd extra hole)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011
CLUB CHAMPIONSHIPS – Week 2

Drama aplenty before the tee off today. A few gatecrashers to the Club Championship tournament turned up, hoping for a wildcard entry into Round 2 - nothing doing, though it was good to have a full compliment of G's and the recently Brisbane based Jacko on the tee. Cruel injury struck down strong contender Dalbs during the week and he was a late shower (with box brownie in hand of course - hmmm, that could be causing it Rob). It promised to be a bright, sunny morning but we hit off in the dark anyway and took more time to clear the 1st than if tee-off had been delayed 10 minutes (go figure).
It turned out to be a titanic struggle for the honour of holding up (with help) the bloody great block of Jarrah which is the CC trophy. Read below for the exciting highlights!

Exciting Highlights

• ALMOST a birdie on the 16th after that cracking 5 wood

  Both Litts and Ron started scratchily, but picked up the pace after the first couple. It was nip and tuck until the 15th where the pressure got to the Dainty One - a missed putt from 1cm outside gimmee range and he was pushing it up hill. They traded pars on the par 3 16th, though Litts failed to convert a birdie chance after a cracking 5 wood from the tee. Litts needed to win the last, but the irrepressible Ron put it beyond doubt with the LD followed by a screamer of a 4 iron from 175 and a 4 metre putt for birdie (and 6 balls from the nest). An amazing finale;
• Pedro and Scobes went along for the ride, never threatening to make any ground, let alone challenge. Two consistent sets of nine holes were the result - 41/41 and 43/43 respectively (nett that is);
• Scobes managed to avoid fouling his card with any pars. Pedro managed just the one;
• Jacko gave a hint of what might have been had he played Round 1. A 42 off the bat for a nett 32 was by far the round of the day which included 2 pars and 2 birdies. However, the only thing he was eligible for on the day was to lose strokes from his handicap!;
• Macca, Walks and Steve all played just shy of their handicaps with not much to report from their scorecards. Not a par between them - a flock of 5s and 6s with a smattering of 7s was the order of the day;

• A bewildered but VERY happy Club Champion (almost gazumped yet again by a Direct Image ploy)

  Probably the sensation of the day was the declaration of Steve as the NAGA. Scobes was mortified, thinking he had it well parcelled up. After an appeal to the match committee and a recount, Scobes was duly declared NAGA by a comfortable margin of 3 strokes. The Captain has been sent back to Primary School to brush up on his sums.

Leader Board at stumps:
Winner: Ron - Nett 72
Second: Graham Litts - 74
Third: Pedro -82
NTP: Jacko
LD: Ron (who else?)
LB: Scobes
NAGA: Scobes
Apres: Scobes
Club Championship – Final results

Tuesday, February 1, 2011
CLUB CHAMPIONSHIPS – Week 1

All was in order on the 1st, except for the unexpected no-show by Macca (where is he; what's going on; is he still a member?). Money collection and delivery duties were ably taken over by Scobes - as punishment for not having the slightest idea what the handicaps were supposed to be on this important occasion. The A Team set off with great expectations but was quickly rebranded the Z Team after a couple of holes. Of particular note were Pedro's Marmion Ave bound drive which hit a tree and managed to land mid-fairway. LB award taken care of early. Scobes had lost familiarity with the course, so decided to visit 3 bunkers in the first 200 metres, just to regain his bearings. Steve was a smart arse and parred the 1st - a classic case of "early ripe, early rotten". The B Team retained its title without any problem at all.

Highlights/Lowlights:

• The B team and halfway leaders (Someone doesn't fill their shirt out!)

  This is a particularly difficult category to have to report on this week as there were very few highlight to speak of. Lowlights abounded, but these will in part be treated in confidence due to their sometimes embarrassing nature (on that basis, please ignore most of the intro para);
• As mentioned, Steve parred the 1st after a smoking drive which he repeated on the 2nd (the drive, not the par). His round "featured" an octuple bogey on the par 5 sixth (a difficult hole it must be said);
• Scobes had one par which should have been a birdie (5th par 3). The rest was rubbish;
• The consistent Pedro scored 5 or 6 on nearly every hole, but was able to snare back-to-back pars mid-round;
• After a forgettable first few holes, Ron managed to be 6 over for the last 6 holes. Can he carry that form over to Round 2 and threaten the apparently comfortable leader?;
• Robin opened strongly, but was clearly distracted as he played down the 3rd which runs past his house. No one really knows where his thoughts were at the time (bed, food, sex?), but they did his golf game no good at all;
• It was a day for the cream to rise to the top (OK, enough of the yoghurt jokes!) and sure enough Dainty didn't disappoint, particularly at the business end, coming home with 2 pars. There was one reported blemish on his conduct during the round, apparently demanding a measure for NTP when the existing mark was clearly superior to his own. I guess Tiger Woods didn't get where he is without being super-competitive.

Leader Board at halfway:
35 - The Dainty One
37 - The Hood (Robin that is)
38 - The Master Blaster Disaster
41 - Pedro the Pilot
43 - That Dickhead who hasn't played for a few weeks
45 - The one that has been playing regularly
(Note no allocation of "win" for this week. All Consistency and Masters points held over until after the Champs are complete (Litts - give us our ball back!) 

On the other hand, the following will be officially recorded (for obvious reasons):
NTP - Scobes
LD - Litts
LB - Pedro
NAGA - Stevie
Apres - Litts (you would not believe what happened........Oh, never mind!)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011
AUSTRALIA DAY at Joondalup

The morning was cool and the course just magnificent despite the recent scarifying of the fairways on the 1st nine and some of the 2nd. No wonder it was recently rated 5th top golf course in Australia. Steve was so overcome by the magnificence of his surroundings that he quickly announced a trophy to establish the event as the Joondalup Classicand then almost took out the win. The Chalks did a great organising effort as the six contenders took advantage of the $99 Hot Summer Golf Special (18 holes/3-pack SRIXON/Refreshment Voucher).

Highlights/Lowlights:

• Todays round encompassed the Quarry Nine and, for some, their first look at the Dune nine, both stunningly presented;
• Rockin' Ronnie started out like a steam train over the first four holes and then got a little over-excited by the scenery to come to a grumbling finish at the turn. Slowly wound up again, particularly on the Dune 276 metre 8th with a booming drive which rolled onto the green! A three putt didn't sour the pleasure of his maiden season win and a Long Drive thrown in;
• The Karnarvon Kid also took a liking to Joondalup, playing consistently enough around each nine to grab second spot. Also had a day out with novelties (an NTP and LD) and some trick shots as only Walks can play - rebounding off posts to the detriment of his personal safety and belting chasers to the detriment of Ronaldo's safety;
• Steve's self-confessed love of the course showed over the first nine, creaming the opposition with 21 points at the turn. Love turned quickly to hate as Dune bit back over the initial holes and some drives went high, wide and handsome – but the love bug returned sufficiently to see Steve squeeze into third place;
• Litts burst out of the blocks with 15 points over the first 6 holes – it was scary watching him carve up the holes. Then fate set in - a tee shot Ladies violation; inexplicable muffed irons; balls landing on paths or slopes and winding their way back down hills. Never appeared to lose his cool, although the buggy driving became more erratic . . . . ;
• . . . . speaking of which Dalbs can't really put a finger on what went wrong with his round although it may have had something to do with the unnerving effect of driving with an ex-Daytona addict who appeared to believe he was behind the wheel of a Hornet Car. On second thought, it was more poor form - Snout actually enjoyed the thrill of the ride;
• Macca refused to worry the scorer, a source of big relief for the scorer (Ronaldo) who hates adding up large numbers. Our embattled warrior (shoulder; hip; nose; eyebrow; you-name-it) is in the middle of a form lapse but you wouldn't know it from the antics and humour displayed today.

Results:
Winner: Ronaldo – 36 points
2nd: Walks – 35 on countback from . . .
3rd: Steve – 35
NTP: Ronaldo, Walks
LD: Walks, Steve
Little Bounce: No nominees
NAGA: Mighty Macca
Apres Putting: Are you kidding . . . on those slick greens

Tuesday, January 18, 2011
MATCH PLAY FINAL

On a cool, muggy morning, four golfers watched in bemusement as a lone figure appeared out of the gloom pushing his wayward buggy. Snout was obviously taking the Match Play Final seriously, having decided to walk from home to the course (in the old fashioned sporting tradition) to warm up for the impending challenge. The course was in very good nick, especially the fairways, and with only a light wind, good scores could be expected. The stern voice of the (official) Handicapper was still missing but the groans and complaints after the official handicap reading were still there (Scobes is expected to resume duties next week at Joondalup).

Highlights/Lowlights:

• The Burswood Blues continued to afflict the mob today – only Pedro managing to play to handicap with a net 36. The next nearest was Litts/Snout, both with net 41's. The average net score for the morning was 42;
• The Match Play Final was a strange affair, both players making spectacular efforts to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory at various stages of the round.
  – Steve started in spectacular fashion. A practice shot on the 11th connected with the ball which was last seen heading for Transperth territory. A 13 on that hole and some wayward hitting on the last two holes when 2-up after the 16th saw the hangover that Steve worked up in a boozy trip to Melbourne seem that much worse;
  – Snout disappeared into the trees on the 10th and finally re-appeared after much swatting to chalk (pardon the pun) up a 9. It didn't improve much from there, double bogies dominating until the last two holes when (shock horror) he played some golf to win both holes, square the match and sneak off with the title on countback. So much for warming up before the game.
• Litts refereed the see-sawing battle but was obviously affected by the drunken antics of the protagonists. Though not playing that badly, except for a 7 on the par 4 15th, he stumbled to the line with a net 41 and a second place podium spot;
• Good to see Pedro flashing the blade for a second consecutive week. He's got real concerns at home but it seems a stroll around the golf course is his stress buster. Waddled around in brilliantly consistent form – 8 bogies and 1 par – for another win and a lead in the progressive Masters Jacket points. Congratulations Pedro;
• Walks barely troubled the scorer today, except in the adding up of such large numbers. He's obviously been into the Carnarvon bananas – the boosted energy levels sending out some powerful drives (one the LD). He's also obviously been avoiding his carrots with most of these massive hits ending anywhere but on the right fairway.

Results:
Winner: Pedro – Net 36
2nd: Litts – Net 41 on countback from . . .
3rd: Dalbs – Net 41
NTP: Dalbs
LD: Walks (a country mile)
Little Bounce: Dalbs (needed all the help he could get)
NAGA: Spectacular Steve
Apres Putting: Litts, who creeps into the lead
Match Play Results

Tuesday, January 11, 2011 (11/1/11)
BURSWOOD CUP

On a warm morning under clear skies, 5 fit golfers and one walking wounded piled into buggies, one of which was kindly donated by Burswood, and tore off to contest the 11th Burswood Cup. Until today, the trophy had been won twice by Litts, Tom, Scobes and Steve - Dalbs and Pedro having one win each. Was this a precursor of things to come? The course was in great nick and some good scores were in the offing.

Highlights/Lowlights:

• Burswood usually produces some cracking scores but today proved the exception. Half were in the thirties (34 the highest) and half in the twenties;
• Macca deserved special mention. Though handicapped by his handicap, it was the troublesome shoulder that was of most concern. It took 9 holes to warm it up before he started scoring modestly, both on the card and with the ladies, the latter continuing well into the after-match presentations;
• Steve is starting to show that he's in need of a good warm-up and massage before playing around (sorry, a round). He had a few errant shots and missed some putts over the 1st nine for 14 points before recovering with 18 points and some BIG hitting;
• Ronaldo wasn't even boring this week. He just couldn't take a trick either off the tee, off the fairway or on the greens. His vocal prowess and some ginormous (though sometimes off-line) drives were a feature as were the one-liners as he chatted up the aforesaid females over coffee;
• Jacko wasn't his normal free-scoring self. Perhaps he suffers from car-sickness and was too shy to own up, or he was warming down in readiness for the return to icy wastes;
• Pedro and Dalbs ended up fighting it out for the right to a second Cup win (as precursed). Both had their highlights (long straight drives) and lowlights (missed chips and putts) but consistency won out for Pedro with two 17 pointers while Snout faded in the heat over the second nine. GREAT EFFORT PEDRO.

Results:
Winner: Pedro 34 Stableford points on countback from . . .
2nd: Dalbs 34
3rd: Steve 32
NTP: Dalbs (x2)
LD: Jacko; 1 no-taker
Little Bounce: Not enough trees
NAGA: Macca
Apres Putting: Not contested

FROM THE TOP END

As you read this note the new year would have 'dawned' on us (and, no doubt, in a special way on our President!).

A very happy new year to the brethren!!

While I look forward to catching up more often for the remainder of the 2010-11 program, I am doubtful it would happen as the set up work for the GBWGC Northern Command Centre appears to be a lot more onerous ......... and Brigadier Regi has moved into the Command Centre!!

TET

Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Par Bisque

In the words of our immortal Handicapper who was unfortunately laid up with Reticulator's Back: "It's back to reality. Hamersley at midnight (well almost) for 9 holes." On a morning that promised high humidity and warm temperatures, the "midnight" start was a blessing and Par Bisque scoring a challenge, as was the lateral water hazard on the path to the 10th tee which got Walks into the mood for his pending trip north to Carnarvon. Seven players fronted the tee with the itinerate Pedro MIA.

• On the face of it, scoring was of a reasonable standard, with 6 players scoring par or better although, after adjusting cards to reflect a normal "Par" competition, only 3 players scored in this category;
• Chalk 1 was in the thick of it early with 3 pluses (he actually calculated them himself) after the first 4 holes. After this feat, which included a birdie on the 11th earning him the season's 7th Birdie's Nest (we owe you a ball!), he declared it to be the "Morning of the Ron" (MoRon). This proved to be a bit premature as the rest of the round was more the Mourning of the Ron;
• Steve was UNBELIEVABLE. (With apologies to Macca) his round was Chalk and Cheese combining an initial mix of aerial ping-pong, military golf, tree lopping and the odd trick shot (photo, right) at the start to be minus 3 after 4 holes. The next five were played only six shots over par for all plusses and a second place on the podium. What a temperament!
• Macca started in style - a first drive just past the ladies tee and a shoulder injury on the 11th. He was obviously well armed though, fighting on to just be knocked into third spot after tiring on the 18th;
• Jacko, unburdened by the weight of logos on his shirt, settled early into a rhythmic, syrupy, silky-smooth swing which saw him +5 after five holes and only two shots over par. That form continued to the last, his accuracy and power cleaning up the NTP and LD trophies along the way;
• Walks's round was quite symmetrical - four '7' shot holes and four '6' shot holes; 5 plusses and 4 minusses. At least he finished in front (+1) on the score line but behind a few trees getting there;
• Litts faced a quandry - how to play Par Bisque with just 4 handicap shots? Having one of his rare "off" days took care of that;
• Dalbs, completely overawed by Jacko's skill and Chalk 2's antics, completely lost the plot, unleashing a torrent of errant drives and fluffed chips but manipulating his inflated handicap to come out square.

Results:
Winner: Jacko +5
2nd: Steve +3 on countback from . . .
3rd: Macca +3
NTP: Jacko
LD: Jacko
Little Bounce: Ronaldo (a shoe-in with 3 superb offerings)
NAGA: Litts
Apres Putting: Litts, the win resulting in a tie with YOTM in the top putter stakes

Tuesday, December 28, 2010
VISITORS DAY at Peninsula

VISITORS GALLERY
Andrew	Graham

Highlights/Lowlights:

• Reading of the handicaps was an early attention getter as 9 hole handicaps were reinterpreted (on the spot it can now be revealed) for the 18 holes ahead. Members are to be congratulated on the fact that less than half complained about their allocation - an unusual occurrence;
• The early pace was set by Walks and Scobes, each racking up 20 points on the front nine. Front running is a risky business over the longer journey and in warm conditions, as final results would prove;
• Pedro managed 2 wipes for the round but two triple par runs early in each nine (holes 2-4 and 11-13) were enough to see him over the line by a single stroke. He also left his mark on the contest by taking out 50% on the NTP and LD awards;
• Scobes started strongly with 40 off the bat and 20 points on the front nine but a wipe on 10 and two closing 1 pointers saw him fall just short;
• A topsey turvey round from Jacko consisted of nearly all bogeys on the front nine, with a mixture of pars and double bogeys on the way in. Good enough though to get onto the podium via a 3 way countback from Macca (YOT) and Dalbs. The "real" Macca was in that mix also, but being a visitor was not eligible to take out the not inconsiderable 3rd place purse;
• Litts never really hit his straps but toiled manfully for 31 points, playing off a 9 handicap (that's 41/43 for 84 off the bat);
• Walks arrived at the course all fired up in the aftermath of floodwaters preventing him from spending Xmas with daughter and grandies in Carnarvon. Consequently he set such a hot pace early that he had little left in the run home, compounding to have 11 on the back to follow his 20 on the way out. Look for a much better result over the shorter trip next start;
• Visitors Graham (I kid you not - and aptly knicknamed G4) and Andy added some variety and vigour to the group. Andy (who presented in a shirt remarkably blue in colour to the official GBW garb) actually finished 3rd and although Graham came up with the lowest score (30), he was only 2 off 3rd place.
• Although the Chalks were unable to grace us with there presence, the appearance of Andy (aka the "Real" Macca) gave us the unique opportunity of sharing a round of golf with the aptly labelled Cheeses (1 and 2 of course). We hear that 1 has a note in his last will and testament which will reveal to 2 what this is actually all about. Duty of care leads us to recommend advance counselling to preparing for the horrors which could be revealed;
• CLASSIC QUOTE: After Litts commented on his remarkably placed chip off the 15th green to within "that much" of the hole: "That was a great bit of geometry" , Scobes replied "More like Trickonometry".

2010 so far

Results:
Winner: Pedro - 37 Stableford points
2nd: Denno - 36 then a long gap to . . .
3rd: Jacko - 32 on countback from YOTMacca and Dalbs
NTP: 5th Dalbs; 13th Pedro
LD: 7th Macca; 18th Pedro
Little Bounce: Dalbs
NAGA: Walks
Apres Putting: Not contested

Tuesday, December 21, 2010
THE CHRISTMAS CUP

It was Christmas time on the tee! Good will flowed like the Gascoyne in flood, in fact it was just about as difficult to get the field away as it currently is to drive to Carnarvon. What a shambles! Official tee off time was reckoned to be anywhere between 4.45am and 5.30am; eventual tee off was closer to the latter. Being Christmas and Ron still being in the State, there was sure to be something afoot before play and it proved to be so. Those who drew the pink hats were ecstatic, mostly because they didn't have to wear the lime green ones.

There was a 90% turnout for the big event, including first time 2010-11 starter Top End Tom and the recently returned from Russia, Jacko. Everyone blazed away from the 10th with great gusto, two or three even finding the fairway. It was clear that everyone wanted possession of the famous ceramic urn (actually a King Kong $2 cup with a great chip out of it).

Highlights/Lowlights:

• Litts started with a birdie; an ominous sign for the rest of the field as he went on to take out the coveted trophy in a very close contest;
• Tom was a little unsteady early, but dropped into his rythm with 2 four pointers, including a birdie on the par 5 17th. In career best form with the putter;
• Rockin' Ronny just kept putting down there. Only one par but no real disasters. Leads the bloody boring award voting by a street;
• Scobes had three 4's and five 5's which kept him around handicap for the whole round;
• Not much is know about Jacko's round other than that he fell foul of the difficult 12th and 18th holes which turned an excellent score into a pretty good one;
• Walks and Steve were a bit below their best but did not completely fold like a couple of other players on the day;
• Oh.......Dalbs and Macca fought out the NAGA, with Macca refusing to be denied.

Breakfast was consumed after play with a great deal of gusto. Everything from toasted sanwiches to full English Breakfast graced the table. The emphasis was on informality (for which read shambles) as we had not done any pre-booking of food. Being rather oldish kids, all were still able to look after themselves sufficiently to survive.

Ron came with his bag of tricks, mostly stuffed with Xmas crackers which were duly ripped apart in ceremonial fashion. After two of the enclosed jokes were read out it was decided that no more would be.

Ron also presented everyone with what can only be described as a giant fridge magnet, courtesy of Platinum Steve. Great work guys! Having said that it is fair to ask the question, "We need a photo of Ron and Tom taken in Darwin on our fridges...why?"

Results:
Winner: Litts - 20 points
2nd: Tom - 19 on a countback from . . .
3rd: Ronnie - 19 on a countback from . . . the handicapper!
NTP: No one was good enough
LD: Scobes
Little Bounce: No brilliance here today
NAGA: Macca
Apres Putting: Not contested

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The unexpected closure of the back nine and the absence of Pedro and Walks saw a depleted field attack the front nine for an unscheduled game of stroke (due to lack of cards showing index numbers for the front nine).

The confused arrangements and relative unfamiliarity with the front nine had its effect, with the worst scoring for a few weeks, though this did not deter the 6 starters from setting a furious pace with all back at the clubhouse before Pat had the coffee machine warmed up (reprimand duly noted by GBWGC members).

aaa

Highlights/Lowlights:

• Macca gave glimpes of "year of the" form and prevailed comfortably;
• Litts mixed it up a bit, but in failing to win also failed to obtain any handicap advantage for next week;
• Ron "played total crap", but managed a creditable 3rd placing. In the famous words of Wayne Grady, he just outcrapped the remainder of the field;
• Scobes was unfortunate enough to have 4 pars in an ordinary round. Those pars will entice him back next week when he may otherwise have retired;
• Steve fell heavily from his recently installed pedestal;
• Dalbs was very slow out of the blocks, using 8 of his 9 handicap strokes in the first 3 holes (6, 6, 9). Hard to come back from there;
• Holes 2 and 3 where the killers, with a cumulative 16 and 12 over par (average 2.66 and 2.0 over)
• Apres putting returned to a more traditional format (due to time constraints) with only the final hole being subject to the 'around the flags' approach. This made for a keen contest and should be considered in future weeks.

Statistical Note: The Consistency leader Ron, has neither a win nor a NAGA. The trailer on the Consistency table (Robin) has 2 wins and 4 NAGAs. It pays to be low profile.

Next Week:
Grand Xmas Cup extravaganza, featuring:

• the return to the scene of his early season victory by reigning Spring Classic champ Jacko;
• the initial 2010-11 appearance of The Little Northern Master (hopefully carrying much sought after intelligence about recent goings on in the ABS WA Office);
• Brekky!!

Results:
Winner: Macca - Net 35
2nd: Litts - 37
3rd: Ronnie - 39
NTP: Macca
LD: Ronaldo
Little Bounce: Scobes
NAGA: Dalbs
Apres Putting: Macca

Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Match Play Semi-finals

Highlights/Lowlights:

• Once again the scoring was of a high standard, with 6 players managing maximum consistency points;
• Steve was on fire and absolutely destroyed his handicap by carding a net 32, even after a 7 on the last;
• Macca remembered what year it is purported to be and sizzled with a net 33. Snuck a birdie in as well for 2 balls;
• Robin had a day out, snaring 3rd place with a net 34, winning his match play, bombing the longest drive and cleaning up the prizemoney in the after play putting fiasco;
• When does a fluke become a good shot? How many NTPs in a row do you need for this to be recognised?
• Ron, you are so frigging boring! Any chance of anything other than spot on par any time soon?
• Litts may have created (yet another) record by birdieing (is that a word?) 2 holes in the same round (10 and 14). A paltry return of one ball for his efforts must be a cause for some despondency;
• Pedro was thereabouts, protecting his handicap beautifully without making it too obvious. Only really goes hard when there's a trophy at stake;
• Walks...what tha? Give a bloke a big write up and look what happens. Is going to Carnarvon next week for some additional coaching and well earned R&R (didn't he just have some of that?).

Results:
Winner: Cousin Chalk - Net 32
2nd: Macca - 33
3rd: Robin - 34
NTP: Scobes (Threepeat)
LD: Master Blaster
Little Bounce: Cousin Chalk (you should have seen it. It was bs)
NAGA: The Ghost who Holidays
Apres Putting: After a shameful effort the previous week, Dalbs broke thru for a maiden win (and first since 2008-09) while Scobes set a record for the most number of putts to the wrong side of the pin.

Match Play results:
Robin disposed of Uncle Chalk - 2 up
Cousin Chalk saw off Scobes - 1 up
Full Match Play results to-date

Tuesday, November 30, 2010
PRESIDENT'S CUP

Highlights/Lowlights:

• Scoring was of a high standard, with 6 players earning the maximum 5 Consistency points;
• The severely under-handicapped Pedro produced a remarkable form reversal. After stewards have viewed the film, the word remarkable is likely to be replaced by something more appropriate. Pedro's gaining a monopoly on the Trophy – 2 out of three ain't bad;
• Macca relished his unending supply of strokes and came in a close second;
• The battle for third was intense as 3 very honest toilers hit the line together. The countback system revealed that Steve had put more sponsorship money forward than Scobes and Litts and was therefore declared to the third placegetter. Litts may rue his wipe on the last for many weeks;
• Old Chalk came in right on par for the second week running. Boring old bastard;
• Walks once again dealt well with his career low handicap and came in just behind the placegetters;
• Dalbs finally got out of bed after the 11th and turned his disasterous 2 wipe start around, only to fall by the wayside again on the last (but not before taking the LD lollies).

Results:
Winner: Pedro - 22 points
2nd: Macca - 21 points
3rd: Steve - (19) on countback from Scobes (4th) and Litts (5th)
NTP: Scobes
LD: Rockin' Robin
Little Bounce: Pedro
NAGA: Robin
Apres Putting: The Pres finally got one on President's Cup day and a big $12 win, the money going down to 4th (and last place yet again) $0.80 to Robin.
Match Play results

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Highlights/Lowlights:

• The early start did not auger well for the three high-handicappers who lead out this morning's large field of seven stalwarts. An ugly tenth hole from all 'players', and I use that term advisedly, set the tone of today's game. Mis-driven balls, missed short putts, and lucky Little bounces were the order of the day;
• Little Stevie was the first of the combatants to settle into his game while the Grey Ghost (who walks...with some difficulty these days) misted his way around the first three holes rarely bothering the scorer;
• Macca's golf was weak, wayward and woeful! The brightest things about the game to this point were the Phantom's gifts from the Old Course at St Andrews'. Steve didn't quite drive straight, but always seemed to sensibly chip his way out of trouble;
• The Phantom started to recover from his long lay-off and had a look at three birdie putts (all missed) to fight his way to level after seven holes;
• Stevie won the eighth, to lead into the last hole, but both Match Players missed the fairway for the longest drive;.
• Macca's one bright spot, not counting three Little bounces, was recognised by a very short stay on the longest drive flag, which was cruelly ended by Slamming Dennis Scobles' mighty blow! Steve ended The Phantom's hopes with another great recovery shot to the eighteenth green and took out the Match Play contest with a two up score which also clinched the day's title overall;
• It's too long ago to try to recall things of interest from the other group. We think Litts played a couple of good shots somewhere along the line.

Results:
Winner: Chalk 2 - 20 points
2nd: Chalk 1 - 18 points
3rd: Litts - 17 points on countback from the "first up from a spell" Walks
NTP: Scobes
LD: Scobes (yawn)
Little Bounce: Chalk 1 (we think)
NAGA: Pedro
Apres Putting: No greens available; funds jackpot to next week
Match Play results

Tuesday, November 9, 2010
MATCH PLAY Round 1

First round Match Play survivors

Handicapper's Highlights/Lowlights:

• Pedro came to the correct venue, though his news that he would be a non-Binningupper was a bit of a downer;
• With little to play for other than the glory (he has all the holes parred on his eclectic), Litts played steadily, considering a switch to his driver on the greens as early putts fell short on the furry surface;
• Scobes had 5 pars but two 7's on par 4's destroyed a promising round;

• A record shortest Longest Drive unlikely to be equalled

  Macca slashed his way through the undergrowth, except for the occasional miraculous bounce, one of which brought him closer to naming rights for said award. Seeing is believing as the award-winning effort hit a tree in front, bounced back to a second tree (almost taking Macca out on its travel) before rebounding back to the fairway;
• Dalbs was majestic today! Six pars in 9 holes is good going, especially for someone who sneaks off the tee on an 11 handicap (sorry, USED TO sneak of the tee on an 11 handicap). A day out with the putter kept him in contention;
• Ron took a while to hit his straps. After having taken care of that strange ritual he began to hit the ball and finished strongly;
• Pedro was back in the fold and early signs were that he might do just that (i.e. fold). However a string of pars bought him back into the game and he only lost his match play at the last to Dalbs who sunk a zillion footer for par on the most difficult hole. Pedro also entered the record books today – the shortest long drive in the history of golf (estimated length, 41.5m).

Apres Golf: Litts didn't have much to crow about after succombing to Scobes in Match Play. So what did attract the black shiny bird which constantly harassed his golf bag? It must've been a lucky omen for, after his win in the Apres Putting, we couldn't stop him raven.

Results:
Winner: Dalbs - Net 31
2nd: Scobes - 35
3rd: Pedro - 36
NTP: Ronzo
LD: Pedro
Little Bounce: Macca
NAGA: Macca
Apres Putting: Litts
Match Play results and draw

Tuesday, November 2, 2010
SPRING TOURNEY

Quorum - n. the minimum number of members of a body required to be present to carry out business legally.

Handicapper's Highlights/Lowlights:

• Macca had 7 points after 3 holes, but thereafter could only manage a couple of 2's and a mixture of wipes and 1's. MITZ (Macca In The Zone) went missing;
• Scobes started poorly but managed to accumulate 10 points on the last 4 holes (incl a birdie on the par 5 17th). Missed at least three putts by "just that much" and was heard to confess that several errant shots were " . . because my jocks were a bit tight";
• Ron was steady after a first hole wipe and finished with a 3 ponter on the difficult 18th. Was in real danger of earning the nickname "Sandman";
• Dalbs was a model of consistency, top and tailing his round with 1's, but managed 2 or 3 on all other holes. Is it premature to say........"he's baaaaack"?.

Results:
Winner: Dalbs - 18 Stableford points
2nd: Scobes - 16
3rd: Ronzo - 15
NTP: Scobes
LD: Ronzo
Little Bounce: Dalbs
NAGA: Macca (14)
Apres Putting: Not contested

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A relaxed winner, the "boy" of the group, enjoying an early celebration with today's Golden Putter winner and an escapee from Woorooloo.

With the front 9 closed for green sanding, the bit of competition expected for room on the 10th tee didn't materialise, though the cue that had developed as we consumed after-match coffees made one appreciate our early starts. Speaking of which there were enough starters to put together 2 groups - a nice change. The weather was just what Terry would be pining for at this time of year - its like this anytime of year under current Perth climatic arrangements.

Handicapper's Highlights/Lowlights:

• Macca continued on his merry way, setting up cannons and cushion shots at will to keep the ball on the island. Was again the winner of the now commonly called "Macca Bounce" award;
• Aspersions were cast on Scobes' "ability" to just miss the green from almost any distance inside 160m, thus setting up 4 consecutive 1 putts and seal the GP award for 2010-11. He also took off the LD award and was heard to remark that this was further proof of the parlous state of GBWGC golf;
• Dalbs may have set an allcomers record with his 11 on the Par 3 16th (and 1 putt! - go figure);
• Litts managed 4 pars but an 8 on the 18th ruined what was otherwise a mediocre round;
• Steady Jacko had only 1 par, but came in with a nett 34 - good, honest stuff there;
• Ron continued his recent superb form, apparently having found that elusive consistency that he has been seeking for so long. He not only hit his straps but he hit a few good balls as well, being runner-up with a net 35 and in to an 11 handicap which could be an all time low.

If the above summary seems a tad statistical and lacking in humour, then that's no accident. It just wasn't a very funny day. Where have all the comedians gone? Come back Pedro, Steve, Tommy and Walks; we're struggling without you.

Golden Putter:As already highlighted, Scobes swooped and scooped the major prize in a brilliant come-from-behind win. CONGRATULATIONS young fella on your inaugural GP victory. The leader at the half-way mark was apparently sought out for sponsorship by a well-known surf clothing and gear company who could see a sure bet with this three-times GP winner and were preparing to ride the wave of success. Promotional videos and guest apperances have now been shelved . . . . as has the hat.

Results:
Winner: Jacko - Net 34
2nd: Ronnie - 35
3rd: Scobes - 38 on countback from Macca
NTP: Litts
LD: Scobes
Little Bounce: Macca (consideration being given to renaming this award to the "MB")
NAGA: Robin D
Apres Putting: Macca (incl. jackpot purse from last week – TYOTM indeed)

Golden Putter - Week 2 results

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

"That's my one win for the year over and done with"

Another stunning morning for golf reported in stunning fashion by the Honorable Handicapper. Only 4 starters due to holidays, injuries, babysitting duties and other competing priorities. Nevertheless, enthusiasm and great expectations were the order of the (almost) day as tee off for the 2010-11 Golden Putter took place.

Handicapper's Highlights/Lowlights:

• Macca sewed up the LB award early, by hole 3 in fact, with some deft use of the natural surroundings to stay on the fairways. With this his third LB win, suspicion is growing that he's been practicing these shots in secret;
• Jacko was exhibiting all the signs of a happily married man - it wasn't so much his timing as his placement;
• Macca smoked a 9 iron on the 5th to be the sole contender for the NTP (yes, a "smoked" drive can bounce a number of times before reaching a 120m distant green);
• The LD award was allocated to Litts over Scobes after a controversial measure. Macca was crestfallen to find that his drive was 3rd longest (or was that 2nd shortest) after confidently predicting from the tee that he had it "in the bag";
• The threatened swooping magpies on the 9th did not materialise - it's difficult to fall about laughing and swoop at the same time, apparently;
• A highlight was the welcome (but faintly visible) silouhette of the mortally wounded Dalbs, faithfully waiting at the final green.

Golden Putter:It's another packed field with only three putts separating first ( Apres Legend Litts) and last (Wannabe Apres Legend Macca) with Scobes and Jacko squeezed in the middle.
Golden Putter Footnote: Macca is expecting a continuation of YOTM, confidently predicting a top 4 finish in the event.

Results:
Winner: Scobes - Net 36 on countback from . . .
2nd: Litts - 36
3rd: Macca - 38
NTP: Macca
LD: Litts
Little Bounce: Macca
NAGA:Jacko
Apres Putting: No Apres due to coring and sanding of greens (in progress as we coffeed). Jackpot next week.

Golden Putter - Week 1 results

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

As our proud winner today was heard lamenting over the missing members at today's round "Who's that hidin' behind the Green Door?"

Another chippy start to the round but perfect for golf with only four starters on the tee. The man with the big van and keen promoter of the Par Bisque format was missing! As this hardy foursome prepared to tee off, a mad scramble ensued to find a score card but the search proved fruitless. The computer technocrat amongst the group, on loan from Russia, came to the rescue and recorded the results on the back of an old job application.

After the first five holes, the general level of play had been reasonably good with more "pluses" on the "card" than you'd find at an adders convention. Litts and Dalbs were +3 while Jacko and Macca were +1. The golf was pretty steady with only Jacko wiping any holes (2). It was then that something hit the fan:

• Litts, weighed down by his very generous handicap (5), went into mind melt
  down, wiping the last four holes;
• Dalbs continued firing +'s until the 17th when things went pffffttt! and he wiped
  the last two;
• Jacko was not non-plused, grabbing three +'s before succumbing on the 18th,
  but doing enough when it counted to snatch victory from the webmistress – as well as being winner-take-all on the NTP/LD;
• Macca whiz-banged his way around for a pretty consistent round of +2, but the pressure of YOTM must've preyed on his mind on a few putts that just nestled by the hole but wouldn't drop, robbing him of a great chance of yet another victory.

Much nail biting in the Apres, with Litts snatching a come-from-behind win on the 9th to open his account.

Results:
Winner: Jacko - +3 on countback from . . .
2nd: Dalbs - +3.
3rd: Macca - +2
NTP: Jacko
LD: Jacko
Little Bounce: Macca
NAGA: Litts
Apres Putting: Litts

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Another stunning morning and perfect for golf with six starters on the tee. Suddenly, Snout careered into the car park having stuffed up the alarm settings (again) and managing to get from bed to tee in less than 10 minutes – the after effect reflecting on his golf (so he says) as the results will show. Scobes was missed by all and apparently has one more "grandpa" stint before rejoining the fray.

No one could match the devastating skills of the President who, playing off a very generous 7 handicap, clubbed the ball very neatly around the course for 38 off the stick and a net 31, a record gross score performance matching exactly that played on 4 December 2001. Great effort Litts! The "Year of the Macca" juggernaut is gaining momentum with consecutive podium places plus the LD and Apres golf this week! And the Tundra Terror is starting to thaw out, playing a very consistent game today for third spot.

Other highlights:

• Ronaldo started with 3 reasonable holes graduating to 3 ordinary to 3 wretched. Decided to go it alone on the 14th by playing down the 13th, his partners querying whether he had lost interest in playing with them. Not a happy Ronny;
• Pedro struggled at the start but managed to claw back some respectability over the closing holes. He and Chris smashed long drives on the 13th but they couldn't finish off the good start.;
• Walks treated his group to a power display off the tee and some fine long irons into the green. Three holes for a total of 9 shots over cruelled an otherwise good round;
• If it weren't for the fact that people are reading this update, one might be forgiven for thinking that Dalbs is still at Hamersley thrashing thru' the rough trying to finish off an otherwise forgettable round;
• Litts claimed the second Birdie's Nest of the season on the par 3 12th and also tried (it on) to claim 2 balls for the effort!.

Results:
Winner: Litts - Net 31
2nd: Macca - Net 36 on countback from . . .
3rd: Jacko - 36
NTP:Litts
LD:Macca
Little Bounce: Macca
NAGA: Dalbs
Apres Putting: YOTM.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010 – Season Opener

A slightly blury picture but, hey, it was shivering cold!

It was too cold for Tom (and a bit far away also), but the rest – including the man who came in from the cold but not including Belter Bridle who may also have considered it a bit far away – were there, wondering why we do this to ourselves every Spring/Summer. And we never start the season until the AFL Grand Final is over . . . .apparently. The men from Direct Image unveiled the season's nifty score cards which bore all the hallmarks of blatant, unabashed self-adulation!

Three groups of 3 hit off:

• the lead pack was Pedro, Litts and Scobes. Initial tee shots were not a sign of things to come (and it got much worse). Not a happy start for these three tyro's;
• In the second group of Steve, Walks and Jacko, Jacko pasted one which bissected those ahead and the lack of a "fore" call was put down to jet lag rather than total disregard for the physical wellbeing of fellow members. He later distributed gifts to express his compunction. Meanwhile, Walks, having lain in bed the night before for two hours thinking of nothing but his first drive, smote it straight down the middle (worth that two hours!) and obviously continued that sort of form to the finish line. Stevie was taking his time warming up for the gruelling months ahead;
• The third group (Dalby, Ronaldo and the Pace Cracker) went out with guns blazing and, halfway down the first fairway, were advised that it was "The Year of the Macca". A few 4-point holes were scattered amongst their scores but the thin one couldn't match the power and grace of his partners who fought out second place on the podium.

Highlights:

• a late surge by Ron saved an otherwise lacklustre round;
• a total lack of surge at any stage resulted on lacklustre efforts from Scobes (NAGA), Jacko (lost NAGA on countback), Robin, Pedro and Litts;
• "former" long handicappers filled the placings;
• Robin dipped into the birdies nest on the 14th par 5. Contrary to popular belief that hole was not conquered last season - we owe you another ball Robin
• Litts was allocated LB honours - not for any spectacular, trademark piece of bushcraft, but rather for an accumulation of positive outcomes from near bush experiences.

Results:
Winner: Walks (20 Stableford points)
2nd: Ronaldo (19) on countback from . . .
3rd: Macca (19)
NTP: Dalbs
LD: Ronaldo
Little Bounce: Litts
NAGA: Scobes
Apres Putting: Who else? It's the "Year of the Macca".